Saturday, April 1, 2017

Interplanetary Gossip

Wolf 461
  Agent 54 here again.  We at the NSA under the DORD, picked up some strange communications from very very very far away and I had to analyze it.  It appears that the communications are coming from a couple of the new exoplanets that astronomers are finding in our own Milky Way galaxy.  Exoplanets are planets that orbit stars other than our Sun.  The really strange part is that the decoded messages are not from beings on these planets but, from the planets themselves.  Yeah, I know, really weird.  Here’s my report. 

Exoplanet Wolf 1061 (Wolf) is chatting with Exoplanet Kepler 442 B (Keps)

Wolf:  Hey Keps, whazzzzz uppppp?

Keps:  Awe, you know same ole, same ole, orbitin and rotatin.  Hey, you been checking out that weird solar system with that planet with the humans on it again?

Wolf:  Yeah, a little.  Tell the truth I get bored with Earth.  Too stable for my tastes.  You know I like little red hotties like Venus.  You know her surface is about 900 degrees. 
Kepler 442 B

Keps:  Oh yeah, she could keep you warm at night.  You know my favorite is Saturn.  I dig those groovy rings.  Outta sight!

Wolf:  Man, you always fall for those big stinky gas giants.  I mean, I know they’re colorful but, dating them is like going out to a cosmic porta-potty, ain’t it?

Keps:  Shut up!  You know your Venus has a thick stinky atmosphere too.  Hey no planet is perfect.

Wolf:  Yeah, well I never tried to score with no giant ice queen like Neptune or Uranus.  Remember when Uranus gave you the cold shoulder?

Keps:  Will you listen to yourself?  Talking like some kinda intergalactic Romeo or something.  You ain’t even got what it takes to attract a moon yet.  Let me know when you got someone orbiting night and day and then we’ll take about the laws of attraction.

Wolf:  Shiiit!  That slimy, dirty pile a debris you got orbiting you is nothing but a cosmic dumping sight.  That thing is the trailer trash of the Universe.
Venus

Keps:  You’re just jealous of my trailer trash cuz you ain’t even got that.  Anyway, when you gonna make a move on Venus?  You know, she ain’t getting no younger.

Wolf:  Hey, I’m a planet with a plan.  I’m just waiting till the time is right and our systems are just the right distance from each other, then boom!  I use a volcano to send her some of my life forms.

Keps:  Yeah, be careful.  With that thick and hot atmosphere of hers, she’s likely to crush and fry your little “gifts of life”.

Wolf:  Com’on!  You know I thought of that.  I’m gonna send her some extreme life-forms that can survive and thrive all over my little Venus.

Keps:  Yeah, well good luck with that.  Me, I’m looking forward to the day I can look Saturn in the eye and tell her how beautiful she is.  

Wolf:  Yeah, and if that don’t work out, you can look Jupiter in her big red eye and tell her you love her too.

Keps:  You jerk!  You know nobody likes that big fat cyclops.

Saturn 
Wolf:  Whadda ya mean?  She’s a big stinky gas ball too.  Ain’t that your style?

Keps:  You really are a jerk, there Wolf.  Why do I talk to you?






Wow! This opens up a whole new field of investigation for my NSA under the DORD.  I’m sure everyone in the Universe is going to want to know what the other planets are thinking about their celestial neighbors.  I could end up with a TV show on the Bravo Network or something.


30 comments:

  1. Heeheehee! No matter where you go in the universe, the locker room talk is the same. Have a blessed and beautiful Sunday!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Some things are Universal.

      Thanks for playing.

      Delete
  2. those planets are all the same...

    ...I think that some of them just have rocks in their heads :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, while others are hot heads.

      Thanks for playing.

      Delete
  3. What messymimi said. I was thinking the same thing.

    Have a fabulous Silly Sunday. ☺

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well, boys will be boys.

      Thanks for playing and have a great week.

      Delete
  4. My favorite planet is Earth ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, I would bet that Earth is the favorite of many humans because that's where they keep all their stuff.

      Thanks for playing.

      Delete
  5. I just want to give out the universal greeting to any sentient beings that might be on other planets. ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Very well, I'll be happy to relay those sentiments.

      Thanks for playing.

      Delete
  6. Thanks for linking up to #ThatFridayLinky - We only allow one blog post per person so I have the deleted the additional two leaving just the one - I couldn't find you on twitter hence the message here!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Thank you. I'm not on Twitter.

    Thanks for playing.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Hi Timothy, Thank you for joining us at #TriumphantTales. Unfortunately, we only accept two posts per week therefore this post has been removed. Feel free to reshare this with us again on Tuesday with one other post!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. popping back from #TriumphantTales, Thank you for linking up again! Lovely to have you back.

      Delete
    2. Thanks again. My pleasure to share.

      Delete
  9. Really intersting post Thanks for linking to the #THAT FRIDAY LINKY come back next week please

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Glad you enjoyed it. Happy to contribute.

      Thanks for playing.

      Delete
  10. I'm shocked that planets are such gossips! Can you imagine what they'd say after a few drinks?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, that may be for a later post.

      Thanks for playing.

      Delete
  11. Keep taking the meds Tim! 🖖

    ReplyDelete
  12. Boys are after all boys, and they will remain so.
    Thanks for joining the Bloggers Pit Stop
    Launching SIM Organics This April

    *Menaka Bharathi *

    *SimpleIndianMom*

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Glad you enjoyed it.

      Thanks for reading and commenting.

      Delete
  13. So funny! This would make a great tv show. Thanks for linking up to #fridayfrivolity! 😊

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Happy to make you laugh.

      Thanks for visiting and commenting.

      Delete
  14. Tis is amazing, I'm such a space nerd I love it! Keep up the good work it's hilarious :)

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  15. Replies
    1. Thank you and thank you for visiting.

      Delete